Yeah, I didn't come here to rehash the past. I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrificed. That's what Keith did for Karen, burying his feelings for her all those years so he could be a good friend. I love you Lucas. And I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes. And it's gonna suck, but if what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it. Be happy Luke. I want that with all my heart.
I want to believe in it all again..music and art...fate and love, and I want to believe that I've made the right choices, and I'm still on the right path, and there's still time to fix some mistakes I've made....I guess I want hope.
I wish I could change some of the things about how I've acted in the last couple of months. I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. You know, i told Lucas that if he loved his fiance then i would learn to be okay with that, because i wanted him to be happy. But really i just wanted us to be happy, like me and him, oh and then when he didn't marry her, I felt terrible for her, and for him, you know, his heart is breaking right now. And i come in here, and i sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience and grace and strength to just let him be happy. And mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. Thats the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks.