I'm spending my four last minutes of Spotify listening to this song, going back to a time, going back to a place, when things were different, they were better.
I'm going home tomorrow for my dad's 50th birthday. I haven't been back yet since I repacked for my second year at university and God do I miss it.
But going through this in my head got me thinking about everything that has changed since I moved here last year. So much has gone terribly wrong. I've lost people I thought I would always have by my side, and, even though I've fought with all my heart, I haven't been able to stop it happening.
Looking back at the person I was a year and a half ago, I wonder if I was just naive to think that I would manage to keep all my friendships through the distance. I knew how easy it is to drift apart from your old friendships when you start university, but I guess I never considered that that would be my case. I thought that my friendships were stronger, that they could handle anything and everything. I thought that my friends cared as much about me as I cared about them. I thought that they would fight just as hard.
It's hard when the people closest to you disappoint you. It's hard when you realize you don't have a place in their life anymore. It's hard, specially if you still love them with all your heart, to let them go.
I'm still trying.
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still.