What I would say to you if I could

It's 26th of January today. Does that day ring a bell? I hope it does, at least slightly, because I haven't stopped thinking today how it was four years ago that we started dating. I really do hope you've thought about it... I really do hope that, even if you are with her, you haven't forgotten what we had.

I miss you terribly. I guess you always miss your first love (specially if it's the only one you've ever had). Well...At least I always will. You probably will forget about me pretty soon. I know you already are in the process of doing exactly that. Good for you. I bet it's less painful that way.

I don't think I would like to forget about it myself though, but you know how nostalgic I am. I really hope that I'll remember what we had as something incredibly special for the rest of my life. Because we were pretty special.

At least together. I'm not much by myself...Oh well...

I guess today makes me sad, because of what I no longer have. It's more about the feelings than you though. I miss the butterflies I guess.

Why am I so impatient? I want to share my life with someone special again but I can't seem to find anyone to fill those shoes and I'm oh so tired of being alone.

And you have her, and I bet she makes you happy. And I bet you love her more than you loved me, because I bet she's actually special. And you know what sucks? Knowing that I couldn't even keep the only person who's ever truly loved me from leaving.

Oh well, it's nearly 27th now. Just a couple more hours left of this day that I'll always have bittersweet feelings about.

Because when I say always, I mean it.

Remember those fights of "I love you more"? Looks like I've won.